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Help.Them.Heal Teaching You Both How to Heal Your Relationship After Sexual Betrayal
Module 1 Willingness is the Key
Welcome to the Course! (3:36)
Mod 1 Willingness is the Key to Restoring Your Relationship (20:52)
1. WHO Definition PSBD
2. Intention Statement
Assignments: Chapter 1 What I Hope to Gain (1)
Module 2 From the Beginning--Come In Together--No More Secrets
Mod 2 From the Beginning No More Secrets (25:50)
Formula for Increased Success in Recovery
The First Stage of ERCEM is Safety, Stabilization and Increased Security
Assignment-Chapter 2 Formula for Increased Success of Recovery
Assignment-Chapter 2 Intentions for Partner_ Intentions for Addict (1)
Module 3 Safety and Stabilization Requires "Extreme Partner Sensitivity"
Mod 3 Safety and Stabalization Requires Extreme Partner Sensitivity (16:59)
Assignment-Chapter 3 Ten Things, I Would Feel More Confident
Module 4 Sex Addiction Requires Two Perspectives
The Treatment of Sex Addiction Requires Two Perspectives---It is a Recovery Issue and It is a Relational Problem (22:14)
The Addictive Cycle
ERCEM Path to Partner Betrayal Journey Worksheet
ERCEM Stages
Module 5 The 10 Recovery Tools to Increase Your Success with Recovery
Mod 5 The 10 Recovery Tools (8:32)
A List of the 10 Recovery Tools
Module 6 As an Addict in Recovery, Your Job is To Provide Safety
Mod 6 Your Job is To Provide Safety (24:23)
The Enlightenment Exercise Handout
How Do You Handle Your Feelings?
Assignment-Chapter 6 Ten Ways That I Wounded My Wife
Assignment-Chapter 6 Enlightenment Exercise (1)
Module 7 You Both Need to Understand Your Feelings
Mod 7 You Both Need to Understand Your Feelings (15:21)
Your Primary Feelings
Tools You Can Use to Process Your Feelings
All Your Feelings Fall Under the Primary 5 Feelings
Anger
Sadness
Fear
Lonliness
Happiness
Assignment-Chapter 7 Identifying the Power of Feelings-1
Module 8 The Ultimate Goal of ERCEM: The Restoration of Safety, Trust, and Intimacy Through Empathy
Mod 8 ERCEM Restores Safety and Intimacy (21:20)
The Intimacy Pyramid Caudill and Drake
The Intimacy Pyramid Revised
The ERCEM Pyramid
Your Intimacy Pyramid As A Couple
Safety and Awareness Exercise
Assignment-Chapter 8 The Willingness Exercise
Module 9 The Brain Science of Triggers
Mod 9 Brain Science of Triggers (19:38)
Betrayal Trauma Cycle
Trigger Busters-Relational CPR (Caudill and Reichental)
Module 10 Couples Need a New Model to Them Heal from Sexual Betrayal --- Empathy to the Rescue!
Mod 10 Empathy to the Rescue (29:01)
The Empathy Cycle
AVR: The Empathy Formula
Your Turn to Practice AVR
The AVR Formula
Assignment-Chapter 10 Empathy Skills to Remember
Assignment-Chapter 10 AVR Formula
Assignment-Chapter 10 The AVR Formula Exercise
Assignment-Chapter 10 As a Partner, What Would I Like to See
Module 11 Mindfulness Based Addiction and Trauma Work Can Change Your Perspective
Mod 11 Mindfulness Shifting Your Perspective (24:55)
Staying Out of the Auto-Exacerbating Cycle of Partner Betrayal
Work Through the Distress with Ford Isomorphic Path to Self-Intimacy
Ford Isomorphic Path to Self-Intimacy
Ford Isomorphic Path to Intimacy to Others is Managing the Distress and Self Compassion
The ERCEM Path to Intimacy
Assignment-Chapter 11 The Five Mind States
Module 12 Relational Skills 101 To Rebuild Trust in the Relationship
Mod 12 Relational Skills to Build Trust (37:17)
Reflective Listening
The 4 Types of Communication
DARVO Worksheet
Assertiveness Worksheet
Gentle Assertiveness Worksheet
Connection-Shares
Assignment-Chapter 12 Reflective Listening Exercise
Assignment-Chapter 12 Passive Communication Exercise
Assignment-Chapter 12 Aggressive Communication Exercise
Assignment-Chapter 12 Passive Aggressive Exercise
Assignment-Chapter 12 Assertive is the Backbone
Assignment-Chapter 12 Your Assertiveness History
Assignment-Chapter 12 Three Circles Exercise
Assignment-Chapter 12 Partner Profile
Module 13 Moving Into Conflict---Using the 7 Principles of Conflict Together to Decrease Shame
Mod 13 Moving Into Conflict (16:41)
The 7 Principles of Conflict--Find Your Shame Resilency
Applying the 7 Principles to Your Relationship
Module 14 Your Needs Individually and As a Couple
Mod 14 Your Needs Individually and As A Couple (17:05)
The Needs Wheel
Module 15 Your Sexual Relationship
Mod 15 Your Sexuality (20:15)
Your Intimacy Assessment
The Needs Wheel to Build Connection As a Couple
Module 16 Getting Through Phase 2 of Partner Betrayal: Anger, Grief Loss and Mourning
Mod 16 Anger, Grief, Mourning and Loss Work (27:27)
Types of Losses and Ways to Process Them
The Vesuvius--Let Him Help You Externalize the Anger
Letter Writing---Pick the Type of Letter That Fits your Style
The Venomous Letter
The Survivor Letter
The Resilience Letter
For the Addict--A Letter to the Addiction
Assignment-Chapter 16 Grief & Mourning Losses
Assignment-Chapter 16 Grief Exercise
Assignment-Chapter 16 Letter to the Addiction Exercise
Module 17 What Happens If She Is Not Getting Better?
Mod 17 What Happens If She Is Not Getting Better (6:12)
Module 18 The Third Phase of Partner Betrayal---Post Traumatic Growth Part 1
Mod 18 Part 1 PTG (17:53)
The 5 Indicators of PTG
Your Mind State and Story Is A Choice
What You Appreciates...Appreciates!
The 3 Elements of Happiness
Recovery vs Relational Changes
Assignment-Chapter 18 Changes He Has Made
Assignment-Chapter 18 What You Appreciate...Appreciates
Assignment-Chapter 18 His Sobriety Recovery Skills and Changes
Assignment-Chapter 18 Acknowledging the Changes in my Life
Assignment-Chapter 18 Acknowledging our Changes as a Couple
Assignment-Chapter 18 Post Traumatic Growth Indicators
Post Traumatic Growth Part 2
Mod 18 Part 2 PTG (19:08)
The 5 Indicators of PTG
You As a Couple Can Keep Each Other in the "Here and Now"
Staying In the Moment
Presence
Move Away From the Suffering---Notice What is Working
Reframing
Reality Affirmations
Assignment-Chapter 18 Staying in the Moment
Assignment-Chapter 18 Notice and Focus What Is Working
Assignment-Chapter 18 Reframing Exercise
Assignment-Chapter 18 Positive Self Talk Exercise
Post Traumatic Growth Part 3
Mod 18 PTG Part 3 (14:26)
Practical Coping Statements
Philosophical Coping Statements
Recovery Slogans
The Process of Forgiveness
Declaration Statements
Assignment-Chapter 18 Coping Principles Exercise
Assignment-Chapter 18 Trauma Based Model of Forgiveness
Assignment-Chapter 18 Your Needs as a Couple
Assignment-Chapter 18 Declaration Statements
Module 19 Review--Final Thoughts
Mod 19 Final Thoughts (3:16)
Body Builder
Assignment-Chapter 18 Notice and Focus What Is Working
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